better is the kid

Blessed Conversation

Human: Lord, please use me mightily!

God: I would really want to but you don’t want to be used by me.

Human: What? You know how much I love You and how much I want to serve You

God: Perhaps that’s what you think but the way You live your life my child is contradicting to that statement.

Human: What do you mean?

God: Disobedience is not in the dictionary of love. If you really have loved Me, then why don’t you listen to Me despite my caution with you. Why do you always spend your time in the internet watching pornographic websites, or why can’t you keep your tongue from telling lies? Why can’t you keep yourself from taking things that are not yours? You do you still lust among other people even those of your own gender?

Human: I’m sorry Father. I’m really very sorry. I hate myself for being like this. I hate me!

God: My child, I love you so much. I have forgiven you but always remember that there is a consequence of every sin that you made. I can’t help but to love you. Please stand firm. I’ll always be here for you. No one can snatch my hand out of yours.

Human: Thank you so much

God: Always remember my child that my love is unfailing. You are mine and I have given you everything even dominion over all the earth. All you have to do is claim your inheritance in Me. Do not allow the devil to take it away from you because I have given these things only for you. Be strong my child. Call be always. Let me be your guide and your sustainer. I LOVE YOU.

Everybody’s Conversation with One’s Self

I do believe that success is probably the best description of every man’s yearning; to accomplish everything that I put your time into. There’s nothing wrong with it. Perhaps it’s even worth working for. I am but one of those whose preoccupation is on the success of everything that I endeavor. In fact, many if not all, my undertakings were of success. People applauded me. Neighbors have high regard of the successful man that I am. Well at first it was actually morally uplifting. You know, to be looked up by people as an inspiration - a model to follow. But then, it turned out to be something else that I could not bear.

I just came to that point of time that I created this persona – a public illusion of a man of success. It held me hostage like I can’t be a real me because I’m too afraid of what other people will say. Then I realized that I have to do some dying. What I meant about dying is that I have to submit my will, which is basically a gift, to the One who deserves its submission. I said to myself that it is enough of submitting to the judgment of people who will soon be judged as well.

I am no perfect person. There are times of realizing that there is just nowhere to go. There are moments of desperation that seems like nobody can help me. Self-help books solutions for problems seem to be so implausible because it feels like everybody else is just as empty. Feeling like I am being stripped off of my clothes like as naked as I was when I was born, I tried to hide myself behind education and philosophy.

What a wretched man! Who will deliver me from myself? The self who can only see what is relevant to me. I am so limited that sometimes I cannot realize my worth because I just can’t see past my own vanity. When will the realization hit to me that I’ve only been an actor of this day’s stage interpretative play. I am so focused on the shadow turning my back to the light and too intelligent to see that it’s me who is in the way. All this time professing to be spiritual; obviously pretending that I am actually rationalizing. What a paradox to put God in a box!

Why do I judge and condemn when in fact I am as ignorant as them? I smile and shake hands, then I lay ambush on the man who has different ideas than mine; irate because he doesn’t understand broaching those things that I don’t want to talk about. I am so self-conscious thinking that I am so blessed when I played with my game of Monopoly. To put forward, my life is still a mess. That reveals the pride that I am hiding is what’s stopping me.

It is so clear when God said, “I am the Vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) I can hear that God always tells me, “O my child, your traditions has deceived you. I have chosen you but you haven’t chosen Me. Just repent! Turn from selfish motivation so iniquity will not cause your ruin. I have no delight in the death of my only Begotten Son yet I did it so that you will live because I love you.”

I have to submit myself to the Truth leaving behind the deception of my youth so I could walk in the council of authority. I should prevent myself from going after the steps of the majority but rather to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding and I should acknowledge Him for He will direct my paths straight.

I must wash my hands from wickedness that I may be saved from my deception. How long shall I face these lies within me that is keeping me from perfection and providing me no protection?

O I must remind myself always, “It’s not the talkers, but the walkers of His Word are the only ones the Almighty Father will save.”